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[Sep. 1st, 2008|09:37 pm] |
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When two or more girls are confined to a small area, they will undergo gosmosis, which is like osmosis but with gossip |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:32 am] |
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"Straight Outta Compton" was NWA's more successful album after their initial flop with "Straight Outta My Parent's House" |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:23 am] |
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This one time Bruce Lee came home and noticed some people lurking around through the window, so he burst through the wall and started kicking and punching and snapping bones until he realised it was actually his birthday and they were just holding a surprise party for him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:20 am] |
It's a little known fact, but if you plug a donut with a donut hole, you are granted one wish.
But it has to involve donuts |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:18 am] |
Instead of popcorn, cinemas should sell boxes full of tiny bite-sized steaks. And instead of cola, pureed steak. And instead of seats, they could just use cows. That way if you run out of steak during the movie you can just hack away at your cow.
Seriously, why hasn't anyone else thought of this? It's so obvious |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:10 am] |
Musical genres sorely lacking accordion solos:
Rap
Death metal
Funeral dirges |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:05 am] |
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Also; if he played Abba's Waterloo on his ipod in a constant loop loud enough for other people to hear it but soft enough so you don't immediately realise where it's coming from |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|08:04 am] |
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I think the best comic book villain would be a guy who followed the hero around but didn't actually cause any crimes. Instead he'd just repeat everything the hero said but in a really sarcastic voice while rolling his eyes |
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| Operation: get Golden Palace to buy me a house. Part 1 |
[Jan. 7th, 2007|03:44 pm] |
Date: Sun, 7 Jan 2007 15:44:53 +0900
From: "Desmond Seah" <btconline@gmail.com>
To: admin@goldenpalace.com
Cc: prize@goldenpalace.com
Subject: A fantastic promotional proposal for Golden Palace
Dear GoldenPalace.com,
I doubt you have ever heard of me, but my name is Desmond Seah and I
wish to make a proposal that would mutually benefit the both of us:
your company buying me a house.
Now before you close this email and delete it forever, just hear me
out. If you don't wish to read the entire proposal, please forward it
on to someone who you believe would find it entertaining.
For the price of AU$400,000 (or less than half the price of a
GoldenPalace.com monkey in US dollars) you can purchase a house in
Perth, Western Australia and emblazon the roof and front lawn with
giant Golden Palace advertisements for all passing motorists and low
flying aircraft to see.
Not only would that be fantastic publicity on an ongoing basis in a
fresh, untapped market, but due to the size of Australia, it is
GUARANTEED to make national if not worldwide headlines, which is
fantastic publicity for a very small investment on your behalf. And in
comparison to a toasted cheese sandwich which looks like the Virgin
Mary, the toasted cheese sandwich isn't visible from space.
I'm sure you have heard of the man who traded a single paperclip for a
house (http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/), and the news coverage
THAT received. Well this would go down even better, because YOU would
be the one receiving the publicity. You could even paint the house
bright yellow to make it stick out even further. To give you an idea
of how much attention this would receive locally, a house that was
painted bright blue in one of the rich seaside suburbs was considered
a city landmark up until its demolition a few years ago. There were
even petitions to save it, due to its "landmark status".
This sort of proposal is the first of its kind to my knowledge, and
I'm sure Golden Palace is keen to get in on some of this world first
advertising action. If I'm addressing this to the wrong address, once
again, please feel free to forward it along to anyone else within the
company who may find it entertaining, or would possibly be able to
help this plan come to fruition. Thank you for your time.
Yours sincerely,
Desmond Seah
--
Bigger Than Cheeses - My webcomic will knife fight your webcomic
www.biggercheese.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|07:57 pm] |
INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE
Scientists conclusively prove that "Chuck Norris facts" are still not funny so stop goddamn posting them everywhere |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|07:54 pm] |
INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE:
Half of the internet suddenly goes deathly silent as fanboys collapse after it is revealed that Batman's "preparation time" is in fact total bullshit made up by lazy writers |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|07:51 pm] |
INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE:
Piracy will become so prevalent that movie studios will just save money on distribution costs by giving the master prints to the pirates |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|07:49 pm] |
INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE:
Amazing discoveries allow exponential bandwidth increases, to the extent that people are soon able to download pornogrpahy before the women even have a chance to take their clothes off |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2006|07:46 pm] |
INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE:
Ebay will buy out Myspace, thus allowing emo whiners the ability to put their shitty poems on auction which promptly fail to attract any bids whatsoever, thus prompting even more crybaby poetry |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2006|07:27 pm] |
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Before the pansies made everyone change words to be more politically correct, the breaststroke used to be known by its classier, original name - the titrub |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2006|07:24 pm] |
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It's a little known fact, but if Commissioner Gordon throws on the batsignal upside down, Batman has to show up and do a handstand |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2006|11:08 pm] |
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Once I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up it was only a bag full of regular marshmallows that someone had left in place of my pillow |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|10:20 am] |
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The thing about the Northern Hemisphere isn't that it's like 12 hours behind everything, it's the poisonous bees that they put in the tap water |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|11:14 pm] |
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Women think it's all romantic when you carry around a lock of their hair, but then they act all freaked out when you try and shave their heads. I mean, come on. Make your damn mind up already |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
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I'm pretty sure every now and again Commissioner Gordon would throw on the Batsignal whenever a party was getting kinda dull |
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